After the anger and hurt of the breakup, it may be difficult for you and your spouse to sit down together and talk about how you will deal with Illinois child custody matters. At Thomas M. Gurewitz, Attorney At Law, we understand that some couples are not able to negotiate, even after taking advantage of mediation and other conflict resolution methods.
Custody questions such as who will make decisions for the child’s education, religion, social life and medical care may become fodder for bitter disputes which must, in the end, be resolved by a judge rather than at the negotiation table.
Many high-conflict couples are finding it possible to defuse ongoing disputes through parallel parenting, a strategy wherein parents have limited direct communication. This solution may be temporary while you and your spouse heal from the trauma of the end of the relationship, or it could become the foundation of your co-parenting strategy.
If communication is in writing, whether you use email, text, a notebook you pass back and forth, a messaging app or some other method, this shields children from conflict that might otherwise affect them. In the case of electronic communication, interactions are also recorded and date-stamped. This factor may keep both of you from saying things that you will later regret. You may also wish to have a neutral third party present for parenting time exchanges, or have someone you both trust bring your child from one home to the other.
You can find more information about options for setting up a successful parenting time agreement in a high conflict divorce is available on our webpage.