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How do you tell your child about the split?

On Behalf of | Apr 12, 2021 | divorce |

Coming to the conclusion that you should get a divorce can be a load of weight off your shoulders. At the same time, if you have a child, you now have to deal with the stress of figuring out how to break the news.

Is there a right way to do it? Is there anything you should avoid?

Altering your approach

Psychology Today discusses how to tell your child about your upcoming divorce. First, note that there is no “right way” to do it. You should tailor your approach based on your child’s age, maturity level and personality. It is fine to use tips and advice from other sources to build your strategy, but understand you will always need to tweak it.

Understand you will also need to be flexible in your approach. After all, it is impossible to predict the entirety of your child’s reaction. They may throw surprises at you, or ask questions you do not expect. This is why it is important to plan out what you want to say with your co-parent before you have the conversation. Always go in with a game plan. Know what questions you will ask and which ones you will avoid.

Your joint presentation

How you treat each other is also crucial. Keep any arguments out of the view of your child. Do not hold discussions with them shortly after an argument, either. You want to give them a feeling of reliability and stability. This will help them accept the news with greater ease, as they will feel they still have a strong foundation to rely on.

Finally, bring it up as soon as possible. You are not helping your child by waiting until the last minute and giving them “more time” to enjoy life pre-divorce. They need time to come to terms with their new situation, and this is what you should give them.